I saw this link from my Facebook page, and thought the poem’s very outstanding, very much free form, and has allowed me to imagine about some details of some dreams I had in past, very long time ago, that continue to hound me. Its lines are so direct and decidedly undramatic. Reading it, I thought I was watching a brief video on YouTube…Read one of those poems that I believe helps describes the dreaming process each one of us have, and which poem I’ve gathered another online source: Roberto Bolaño’s Devotion by Roberto Bolaño | NYRblog | The New York Review of Books.
Man head (Photo credit: @Doug88888)
Last night, I dreamed of a friend whose father (who’s a retired policeman, with a second family) recently died appeared up in my dream. He still looked pretty much the same as the last time I saw him. Although I know he looked a bit depressed and tired. We were both naked but we were not doing anything that is intimate at all. I remember having felt no attraction at him at ll.
Then came three, thin young black men with long limbs, shaved heads who showed up in the space next to where we were located inside a dark room. They were soon having sex with each other, mindlessly, and oblivious to our presence. I wasn’t paying any attention at all and they served as background to my friend and myself. The room looked like a boarding house, where people without much money and no place to stay for the night would show up. It seems like my friend rents out a space in that place.
Then came a well-built brown-skinned middle-aged looking fellow. And he removed all his clothing. He looks like a typical good-looking, healthy Filipino. A mildly erect, huge penis hangs on him, and I asked if he wanted me to give him a blowjob. And he agreed most willingly. And we proceeded to do all the works. I remember his penis being in my mouth, and I couldn’t take it all in. My friend, that guy and myself were all having the time of our lives.
And then it ended after I heard the noise made by my neighbor upstairs who’d be going to work in the hospital .
The Eastchester-Dyre Avenue subway station, in 2006. Originally taken by David Holland, and allowed usage (of all photos) under attribution in advance. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I recall the number 5 or 4 train of the MTA system here in NYC being mentioned in a most recent dream. I also recall a friend whom I’ve not seen for some time now. And he has been calling me on the phone and trying to fix a schedule with me so that he can sleep over in the place where I live here in Staten Island. I was not actually against the idea, as long as he would not mind being in a bedroom that is filled with books nearly up to the ceiling. And I was amused by him having to call me quite suddenly. as if there’s something urgent happening that I had to be involved with right away.
Upon waking up, I thought this could be a death premonition. I recall the number ’4′ is a symbol death, although it was just mentioned in passing as in my friend was asking me about the last stop of the 4 train (which is Woodlawn on Jerome Avenue in the Bronx). Or if it was the 5 he was referring to, it would be Eastchester-Dyre Avenue also in the Bronx). The word ‘Dyre’ sound like ‘die’ when pronounced. And what else came into my mind is that my friend may probably soon pass on. Do I have to call him and have a chat with him? I’ve no major issues with him; I just prefer not being turned into a doormat every time I meet up with him. And I didn’t want to feel like I’m living in an undesirable place, which I feel every time I hear him mention Staten Island. He’d imply this place as being the trash depot of NYC, which certainly it was for so many years, but which specific place has been gradually turned into a greenery where an emerging park (Fresh Kills Park) 3 times larger than Central Park now stands. And that landfill was also used by so many workers to sort out and identify the collected remains of those who perished from the Twin Towers in 9/11; a nearby spot can be visited where the rest have been buried (with un-identifiable human remains).
By the way, this friend also appears in my first book, Angels In Disguise (with its blog link here), but I don’t remember telling him about it. His name was not directly mentioned at all in the pages; he would know right away that it’s him that I was talking about when he gets to read the book. Probably, my dream about him could be more related to this fact. I have to contact him so I can tell him about the book one of these days.
Last night, I recall having been in a dream that I felt like I was in a 30s-horror movie. I recall having with me a black bird, which was very smart and has a long beak, and it was so actively engaged in whatever that’s happening around it. The bird looked so curiously active. And the bird was not that friendly to me. I took it in both hands and we went to a house that’s dark but with some blue lights on. And I tried to keep the bird in an improvised caged but the bird won’t agree to it, such that it would keep on trying to come out free from the improvised cage. And the bird would get so mad at me, but I would just keep on putting it back to its improvised cage.
And the dream would continue and I would learn that the house was haunted. That somebody was murdered there, which somehow scared me but I still kept on keeping the bird in the cage. And I don’t recall anymore details…
I’ve heard with some unexpressed surprise briefly mentioned stories meant to update ourselves on the details of seeing me already as a dead person in their dreams. One recent dream that was narrated to me involved seeing me in the arms of a very good friend who just kept on crying in his dream, as if he couldn’t be appeased of his grief. All the while, 2 other good friends were around being so sorry and crying, too. But one of them is already dead (he’s the one who was murdered in his apartment in Quezon City, Philippines, days before Thanksgiving Day in 2010 here in the US from where I got the terribly upsetting news). Why would a dead person appear alive in other people’s dream, I won’t know for sure. I’ve seen my Father many times still being alive in my dreams after he died — and I get a powerful sense that his presence is still very much around, despite the change in form (‘only in dreams do these dead people come alive’).
Months ago, there was also this dream told me by the same person who’s really that close to me whereby he saw me being already dead one nightmarish evening. He said he saw me being so sick and struggling with my life in this different hemisphere of the globe. The time gap between him and myself is 12 hours, and I can just imagine he must be seeing me very much dead in his dreams in the evening while I’m fully
Image via Wikipedia
up and awake doing my chores here in NYC.
I can only wonder what these dreams stand for. They’re symbols for certain events that may soon take place. And I’ll have to continue finding better ways to discover what they stand for.
- What Does Your Dream Mean? (pamsheppardpublishing.com)
- The Dream (wesometimesallfalldown.wordpress.com)
- Dreams take Flight (revelandform.wordpress.com)